Why is there Memphis?

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is that?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" Inquired Michael, still puzzled.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth but cold and harsh, while southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant.  I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts. This one will be extremely hot and dry while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by the Creator's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "that's Tennessee -- the most glorious place on earth.  There are beautiful mountains, streams, rivers, hills, and forests.  The people from Tennessee are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world.  They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then asked, "What about the balance You spoke of, my Lord? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in charge of Memphis."

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