Men and Women

The argument you just won with your wife isn't over yet.

A genius is any man who can adjust the thermostat to please his wife.

Some wives have such good memories that they can even remember things that never happened.

Listening to political speeches is a lot like listening to your wife -- you know something is going on even though you're not paying much attention to it.

If you want your wife to listen to what you have to say, talk in your sleep.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no wife ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

A wife will always forgive and forget - but she'll never let you forget that she forgave and forgot.

If a man's wife is his better half, and he marries twice, what then becomes of him?

A yawn is nature's provision for making it possible for husbands to open their mouths.

One reason it's often difficult to coax men to go to church is that men aren't interested in what other men are wearing.

It is intuition that enables a woman to put two and two together and come up with any answer that suits her.

If you believe that a woman hasn't a mind of her own, you've never served on a jury.

When a woman suffers in silence, the phone is probably out of order.

If you want to make a woman nervous, just put her in a room with a hundred hats and no mirror.

A woman likes a man best who has a will of his own -- made out in her name.

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This page last updated on September 1, 2004.