you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour
a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will
Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet
seat by simply peeing in the sink.
blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed
for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the
you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,
then you will be afraid to cough.
a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, and then
you will forget about the tooth ache.
Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of Life Really Are...
You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
should: use the WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't: use the duct tape.
The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I
apologize" and "You are right."
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.
If You woke up breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!
And Finally: Be Really Good To Your Family and Friends. You never know
you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!
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This page last updated on September 1,